Favorite Funny Sayings and Quotes

Favorite Sayings and Quotes

I have put together some favorites of mine with authors as well as a few of my own for the reader’s enjoyment. Some are good advice, some are funny and some, well they are just quotes. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed gathering them up to share. By the way only the first one is by Bob Hope.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting to get into the bathroom.~ Bob Hope

 watch out I have a screwdriver… and I WILL use it to unscrew your belly button and watch your butt fall off!”

I figured out why Tiger Woods is playing such a bad game these days… His wife won his mojo and HIS TALENT in the divorce

Anyone remember wearing a Swatch? It was named this because it was made in Switzerland and they put the two names together. Good thing it wasn’t named in Croatia…5895818_f520.jpg

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If 4 out 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one person actually enjoys it?

Change is inevitable except in vending machines.

Ever burped and got whiplash?


Reality is the leading cause of Insanity…

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